It was a frigid morning. Weeks have passed since I had a warm meal. After scaling the snowy white mountain tops of Mt. Versace, I finally arrived at Gucci – holy temple of coolness.

I was greeted with hospitality. Despite not speaking Prada, we communicated effectively with hand gestures. Finally, a translator approached me, “what is it that you seek, Lawrence Chan of Los Angeles?”

I cringed as my tongue burned from the hot tea, “I seek Milan – the wise one.

A man with what I assumed was a handbag acknowledged my request. “I am Milan. You’ve traveled far. This must be important.”

It was very important. Time was fleeting. I needed an answer. “Milan. Many of my peers use mediums called Twitter and Facebook. They tweet and update day and night. In fact, I just tweeted about meeting you whilst talking! I did not mean to be impolite, but I’m addicted.

Ultimately, how is all this social media going to help our businesses? Is success equated with friends/followers?

The wise sage stepped in a circle as he pondered. Occasionally, he would rub his chin as if the friction caused some form of kinetic brain juice.

When he was ready to speak, the room fell silent. Even the birds knew not to chirp. Everyone closed in.

Milan said in a deep deep voice, “being busy does not mean being productive…”

Obviously, I know that!” I rebutted with haste.

“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” everyone chimed in at once. Uh oh. Taboo. Before I had a chance to apologize, a kid zipped through the crowd and kicked my shins.

Turd. I will get you!

“As I was saying,” Milan continued paying little attention to my injury, “it is a two part process.”

I quickly whipped out my notebook.

“The first step is to understand your target audience. The second step is to understand your business model. Combine the two and you will be able to ‘tweet’ — you called it — effectively.”

It was like playing sudoku. I finally got the missing piece and things are just falling into place.

“Come, Lawrence. Let me show you my laboratory.”

I followed without hesitation.

Three Days Later

“You are armed with my wisdom. Now share it at the next coolest hangout meet-up. If it isn’t cool, don’t speak for it will tarnish the brand of Gucci.”

I understand.” How fortuitous – LA Smug is coming up this Thursday, February 18th. I will remember this indelible journey and now must spread Gucci’s good graces.

Date: Thursday, February 18, 2010
Time: 7:00pm – 10:00pm
Location: The Global Cafe
Street: 11002 Ventura Blvd
Studio City, CA

RSVP! Facebook | Meet-up

20 Questions

Peter Garr – LA Smug Leader played 20 questions with me. You can entertain yourselves here until Thursday.

You’re all going, right?

Lawrence Chan

P.S. You could probably tell that I’m a sucker for designer stuff. I can’t justify the value, but for some reason the price dictates my perception. Interesting…right? So if someone’s rates start at $12k for photography coverage, he/she must be be pretty good, right? Ruminate that thought…nom nom nom.


P.P.S. Writing this article as a story was a whim concocted at midnight. Do you guys like it when I mix it up or just keep it straight-up-down-the-throat-style like, “I’m speaking here on this date and this time. See you all there!”? Thanks for your feedback 🙂